If you understand and identify with the following, you are a pole dancer

I wrote this list as a note on Facebook, and so many ladies from the studio chimed in that I just HAD to put it up on the blog!  Enjoy.

This is at a bar in Denver. Surprise pole dancing!

1. You wear your cutest panties and/or keep booty shorts in your car when you go to a party “just in case” there’s a pole.

2. You always carry grip and/or alcohol swabs in your purse.

3. Your yoga mat is worn out in the center because you run in place on it All. The. Time.

4. Your boyfriend/husband has softer feet and hands than you.

5. “Jasmine” and “Jade” are verbs, not stripper names.

6. You decide whether to moisturize based on when you’ll be dancing next.

7. You understand that poles are tempermental and are sometimes too slippery for crossed ankle release.

8. Shoulder tweaks, back injuries, or dislocated ribs have happened to you.

9. You wish your gym had a pole so you could practice “real” pull-ups.

10. You choreograph routines in your head to every song you hear.  Often while driving.

11. You decided which MP3 player to buy based on its size and clipability to your bra.

12. You own — or know someone who owns — a Bedazzler.

13. You’re stronger than your brother.

14. You’ve gotten into serious, heated debates over whether Spin Pole is fun or nauseating.

15. You’ve bruised your vagina.  And not in a good way.

16. Your feet have cramped from pointing your toes.

17. Rolling around on the floor in public isn’t gross.  It’s sexy.

18. You’ve gone to a playground and misused the equipment.

19. You’ve flunked a test/overslept/been late to work/forgotten to eat because you were perfecting a new trick.

20. When you struggle with a new trick, you flip-off the pole.  (And then silently apologize to it later in your head.)

21. You’ve recruited significant others, friends, family, and acquaintances to try Pole or to build/brainstorm a way for you to get a pole at home.

22. You’ve figured out how you can Pole in extremely unlikely places (examples: while camping, at a BBQ, in a trailer, or at church.)

23. You spend more time watching pole dancing videos on YouTube than you do watching TV. -Nina

24. You always have espom salt and arnica gel in your medicine cabinet. -Nina

25. You have a higher tolerance for pain than anyone you know, and you brush off questions about your huge bruises with, “Oh, this little thing?  It’s just from pole.” -Nina

26. You celebrate your bruises and brag about how you got them.

27. Your New Years resolution was “get my splits.”

28. Once you get your handspring, you have to do one on every street sign between your house and the post office. -Kaizque

29. You’ve been to the grocery store, the library, and the bank in some very, very short pants. -Kaizque

30. “Screw working out. Work was long and I’m tired. I’m going to skip it tonight. Because I can. I’m allowed. Afterall, I ran yesterday………… I’ll just do one ayesha, then go to bed….. One more… I’ll just see if I can transition into flatline scorpio….. or butterfly…. or allegra or, or allegra box splits!!!……..well, I’d better warm up I guess… just a quick one….” You wake up after 8 hours of sleep more tired than you were the night before because you practiced pole for 2 hours. -Kaizque

31. You point your toes during sex because it looks better. -Melanie

32. You fall asleep dreaming about new tricks that are impossible, but you are going to try and hurt yourself on anyways. -Kri

33. In class you find yourself moving arms, legs, and sometimes doing a head roll as you work through your chair choreography. -Kri

34. You wonder what you would look like in pretty much all the costumes for sale at Fascinations. -Kaizque

35. You always remember to drop your shoulders before lifting the heavy pot of boiling water to drain  your family’s pasta. -Faith

36. You put concealer on your bikini line. -Hannah

Thanks for all the great additions, ladies!

One thought on “If you understand and identify with the following, you are a pole dancer

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